January 11, 2012

During the Christmas holidays I realized in a deep way how difficult it is for people who are hurting to rejoice with those who are happy. The party spirit of those around a depressed person only magnify the loneliness and darkness that such a one feels. That is one reason that the time between Thanksgiving and New Years is a dangerous time for many, and many suicides take place in that season. In the past I have had a couple rounds with spiritual darkness myself, so I understand what it means to feel like an outsider in life, as if you are separated from everyone around you by an invisible bubble that keeps your emotions and thoughts completely separate from what's happening in the same room. My counsel to such a one is to continue to hang on to the truth that God is with you in your loneliness and that God will eventually bring you out of it even if you can't see any light ahead. As for those who are trying to help those they love who have fallen into a depression, don't try to talk people out of something that goes beyond mere circumstances with advice like "Snap out of it!" or "You don't have it as bad as lots of people!" Those phrases mean nothing to those who are emotionally and spiritually debilitated, and they bring nothing but more guilt and darkness. What people going through a dark time need is people to walk with them, to be physically present, to write notes and call and send emails to remind them that they are not alone in this world. We ourselves can't bring people out of their spiritual and emotional pain, but we can care for them in the midst of their pain, and that makes all the difference in the world.