January 11, 2012

During the Christmas holidays I realized in a deep way how difficult it is for people who are hurting to rejoice with those who are happy. The party spirit of those around a depressed person only magnify the loneliness and darkness that such a one feels. That is one reason that the time between Thanksgiving and New Years is a dangerous time for many, and many suicides take place in that season. In the past I have had a couple rounds with spiritual darkness myself, so I understand what it means to feel like an outsider in life, as if you are separated from everyone around you by an invisible bubble that keeps your emotions and thoughts completely separate from what's happening in the same room. My counsel to such a one is to continue to hang on to the truth that God is with you in your loneliness and that God will eventually bring you out of it even if you can't see any light ahead. As for those who are trying to help those they love who have fallen into a depression, don't try to talk people out of something that goes beyond mere circumstances with advice like "Snap out of it!" or "You don't have it as bad as lots of people!" Those phrases mean nothing to those who are emotionally and spiritually debilitated, and they bring nothing but more guilt and darkness. What people going through a dark time need is people to walk with them, to be physically present, to write notes and call and send emails to remind them that they are not alone in this world. We ourselves can't bring people out of their spiritual and emotional pain, but we can care for them in the midst of their pain, and that makes all the difference in the world.

January 4, 2012

Happy New Year! Jill and I had a wonderful week with our whole family. I don't know whether you know the story or not, but our youngest daughter, Brittina, was taken aback when her boyfriend of many years, Jared, disguised himself and flew down to Florida on the same plane to surprise her. She had no idea. Then last week at the condo where we stayed in Naples, Jared followed me into the bedroom one morning and told me that he had something to give me. He unwrapped a towel in which were seven olivewood camels and gave them to me one at a time. I knew immediately what he meant, for while we were together in the Holy Land last spring, our tour guide had talked about how men who wanted to marry women in the Middle East would give their prospective fathers-in-law a camel or two as the "bride price." The guide said that royal princesses were expected to fetch seven camels, at which point I told Jared that Brittina was worth as much and he would have to come up with them! I got my camels, so, of course, I gave my blessing and he proposed to her later on the beach. Now we have an August wedding to look forward to! Life is full of surprises, and we rejoice when they are good ones.